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Recent Posts

I Can Haz Leafsez?
ParTAY!
No Workings! Workings BAD!
Seriously?
ExKUUUZ ME?
Not Funny, Mom
Happy New Year: My Resolutions
Best Groomers EVER!
Pugs Say I Love You
No-Bama Has No Fuzzies

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Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I Can Haz Leafsez?

Okay, I admitz it. I luvz leafsez in the fall. First, they smellz excellent! Also, they iz good hiding thingz. Plus they makez noises and crunchies for the finding things, they gets runned through without yellingz, and they comez in the not-so-hot time, which is also excellent, cuz pugz done like hot.

Only daddy and papa like to put all the leafsez in one place and when the pugz runz in em, they do NOBADDAMMITMAXCUTTHATOUT noizes which is BAD. My done likez those noizes. Only we haz to run in the pilez, see, cuz thaz how the good crunchies happen!



Soooo... daddies and papas needz to get over dat, cuz udderwize we gotz to goze to warz. K? K. Thanx bai!

Labels: daddies and papas mean, fall leaves, pugs going to war, rakings bad

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,

Friday, September 18, 2009
ParTAY!

Iz ma birfday!!! I iz five-many years puggy. The biggers and littles are having cake and I gotta pupcake wif carob and penuhbudder from Pawsatively Awesome Barkery!

I also gotted:

Big box of never-run-out-many Greenies
Squirrel what yipes when you bitez it
New dindins bowl

ParTAY!

Labels: awesome things, bein' five, pug birfdays

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,

Friday, August 14, 2009
No Workings! Workings BAD!

My don't likez it when mummy does workings. Workings are bad. When there are workings, my are very, very sad.

Thaz cuz when mummies are working they'z not payinz attenshun to puggies. That meanz no greenies, no liver treats, no belly-rubbinz, no puggie kissez, no NUFFINZ.

Can my haz my break now?

Labels: no special luvinz, sad pugs, working bad

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,

Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Seriously?

Are you shitting me?

Labels: boas, humiliation, pugs

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,

Friday, May 22, 2009
ExKUUUZ ME?

My'z not likin de new vet. My old vet wuz nice but the peeple who didz her billing wuz stoopid so we got a new one who wuz pretty and seemed nice only NO!


It wuz all a klevver rooz!!!

Kuz dere I wuz, right, sittin' all pretty and kute and puggy, right? And first they puts a metal thing right inside my bum, and then they puts some other thing right inside my bum, and then-- GET THIS-- the lady whut lookd nise but wuzn't at ALL, put her finger UP MY BUM and SKWEEZED.

UNAKSEPTUBBLE!!!!!!!

No even helo-puppy or NUTHIN. And my mommy wuz RIGHT DERE and din do NUTHIN to halp me. I'z not eben tawkin to her.

Labels: max the pug, maxwell the pug, mommy betrayers, vet visits

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,

Thursday, January 22, 2009
Not Funny, Mom

It's all well and good to have fun, mother. But I am NOT laughing. Seriously. NOT LAUGHING.

Labels: aretha hats, innauguration stuff, pugs, silliness

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,

Saturday, January 03, 2009
Happy New Year: My Resolutions

I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. Apparently this is a Big Deal for Biggers. You should have seen them the other night. It was a little humiliating and the mess was impressive, but I got to find fallen-on-the-floor-things, which is always EXCELLENT!


I heard mom complaining about Biggers making lists of promises for a new year which sounded not so bad so I decided to make a list, too.

Here are the things I would like to do in 2009:

1. Find more stuff on the floor.

2. Chase more cats.

3. Get the littles to stop smushing me when they hug. I like the hugs but they are Too Much hug.

4. Train mom to go Starbucksing more often. I keep shouting at her but she says NoMax and Stopushinit and Yoreallypushinit. This is not working for me.

5. Write my memoir. Snort: One Pug's Wry Observations of Life from Below the Bigger Line I would also like a six-treat-figure deal for this. And script approval.

6. Bounce more. It's fun and makes me littler.

7. Speak with somebody about the wet white fallings. I do not like the wet white fallings when they are bigger than me on the ground because I can't pee and have to dig a hole to poo. This is problematic.

8. Stop eating tishoo and thred. Mom yells NoMaxYooEedyut when I do this and I think she may have a point since it makes my tummy sore and then when I poo daddy says HeAteThredAgen all loud and my poop hangs from my bottom and daddy shouts about StompinOnThaEnd and HeShat ARosaryAgen and is mad. Plus the thing hanging from my bum won't fall off because the thred makes it hang and it really seems to upset everyone. But sometimes tishoos and thred smell good or give me something to do.

9. Chase more squirrels.

10. Spend more time sleeping. I like sleeping.

Labels: 2009, new year, pugs, resolutions

posted by Maxwell Da Pug @ link to this post , ,